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About this blog

Yes I finally have a blog of my own. I will share what I am working on in HAIN. I will share about who I am, my personal side. Just randoms stuff. 


Entries in this blog


There are times in our lives we do not feel real appreciated. We all have those times. Part of life.

Tonight my daughter wanted to take not only myself out, but her brothers to dinner. She took us out to the fanciest place in town. She smiled so big. There were tears of joy, laughter and all around love. As I looked around the table it was hard to describe the joy we all still shared in one anothers company. My heart truly warmed up watching my kids enjoy one anothers company. No cell phones allowed until after we ate. Then the snapchat (an app that destorts faces) and the laughter was all around.

It was great to see and feel. I know there dad would be smiling if he was or is able to see them and I. We needed this time together. 

I am thankful for these moments. Sometimes we need to let what is going on in our lives not stop us from living. Its okay to laugh during those moments.

I am grateful that God let me have these moments, these wonderful kids.

We miss Brian more than anything. We also know that no matter how much we miss him it will never bring him back. Doesnt mean we stop missing him, it just means until we see him again than we have to live until our time is here to meet him.

 I do pray that you look around and see your kids and husband and say thank you. One never knows their time. We assume we will continue to live until we are 100, let me tell you, one never knows. So appreciate what you do have. I know there are times its hard to love when times are unlovable. Make the choice to love every day. 


Thank you for taking the time to read my babbling.



Well I figured I would use my own blog on here to post about my photography as some of you asked if I would.

As many of you know I have been delving into photography as I was inspired by the charity NILMDTS. In hopes one day I would be professional enough to capture memories for grieving familes and offer my service.

Well my journey has been slow going. I have delved into learning, I have book that college courses use for the subject. I have watched videos, I have read, I have practiced. But as you know I have never delved into it super deep, meaning as a career. I figured one day when Brian retired and we didnt focus on his career then maybe just maybe..

After all we had all the time in the world, right? I have been a home mom, pretty much almost our entire almost 23 year marriage. I had Justen at 17, married Brian when I was 19. Worked some in the beggining but due to abuse of baby sitter we decided together that we felt better if we never put our children through what we went through. So we made that choice. Which I do not regret.

However Brian passed away. I had no career, no job experiance (but my early 20s, I am now in my 40s), the thought of doing everything we dreamed of together alone became a nightmare, fear like no other, worry and more fear. Luckily my husband had life insurance (we both did, after all we have kids), something I used to tell him I hated him having because we never would need it and the thought of him passing wasnt something I ever wanted to think about. 

I was able to pay off house, put money back. I now realize that it was time to go ahead and take my photography more serious. So I joined a 12 week course. Though I admit I am scared. I need to do this for me, and for our kids. I want them to know that no matter what trials we face, we can do this. We can survive this. I am all they have now. And its hard folks, it really is. There are times I feel like I am failing them and doing this alone makes my heart sink so deeply in hurt. 

How I miss my husband so badly it hurts to my core.

Do you know that in all the years together we never had a professional family picture done? How I regret thst now.

My mission is to make sure that never happens to anyone I come across. One can never get that back. I habe no real good pictures to hang on my walls of all of us. I encourage you all to go get pictures taken!! 

Also to print your phone pictures. Go to mpix.com have them print your pictures. They have an app. Do it. Save them!

Anyway sorry about rambling in this post..

I will start posting more about photography. But for now thank you for reading this.


I have a niece that is having a baby girl. I am super excited to be an auntie again. Her name they chose is Dylila (spelling may be off). Anyway I donated yhe patterns to HAIN that I created when making these items for my niece. The mermaid outfit, and the simply soft baby dress with bonnet. You can find those patterns if you are a HAIN member in the downloads area in our HAIN private patterns folder.

Anyway the challenge was real trying to come up with the tail for the mermaid. I had to tear it out several times and start over. Who knew that was going to be just a pain in the neck.

I am nervous and excited to get these to her for her baby shower this coming weekend. I need to wash them up and dried.

I have also been knitting easter egg covers. (Some I have not taken photis of yet) Its hard for me to stick using patterns, so I also designed a couple. One pattern I donated because its a toy not an easter egg cover that our charity do not really need or use. Lol 

Pictures below of what I made.

(Thank you Diana for your blog post, it encouraged me to get one started)






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